The life that is waiting for me.

Joseph Campbell once said :

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us”

And as I read this quote over & over again, I cannot help but feeling… scared.

This quote is scary.

The thought behind it is scary.

And the actions it implicitly suggests are scary too.

This quote implies that we must live in our reality. That we must stand in our truth. That we must be aware of what’s surrounding us. That we must embrace our present. That we must be conscious of the life we are leading.

Because maybe, just maybe, the life we are leading is the wrong one.

Now, I am a person that prefers to have her head in the clouds than her two feet on the ground.

I’m a girl that often times tends to shy away from her truth -not that I’m very proud of it-.

I’m someone that tends to drown what’s surrounding me in the what ifs, the maybes and the one days of my wildest dreams.

I’m someone who loves reminiscing in the past and is an addict of dreaming about the future. As for the present though, if it’s good I’ll embrace it and welcome it with open arms but if it’s bad I’ll resent it and hate it and reject it.

Lastly, I believe that I’m a person that is conscious about the life she is leading but is still not fully accepting it for what it is because of all the high standards that I fixed for myself.

So, you can see how I find Joseph Campbell’s words scary…

These words are not me. They are the very opposite of me. My antithesis.

Yet, when I read this quote –which was when I was watching an episode of the TV show Being Mary Jane- first it stood out to me. Then it intrigued me. After that, it fascinated me. Later on, it scared me and lastly it inspired me.

It got me to thinking :

“What if the life that I’m living, the life that I believe I want and the life that I’m striving towards is not for me? What if the life that I have planned for myself is not the life that is waiting for me?”

“What do I do then?”

“What can I possibly do if that realization hits me one day?”

Because I don’t think we can “Start again” a life as easily as we can “Start again” a video game.

Life doesn’t come with an insurance policy. Life simply comes and just as simply goes. In a heartbeat.

So I want to make sure that the life I’m leading, the life I’m planning is the life that I’m destined to live.

The problem however is that I don’t know how to figure that out. Because life doesn’t come with clues and directions either. Although I think that would’ve helped one too many people in this world…

Anyways, I don’t know. And I guess I’ll have to figure that out along the way because I believe that is part of one’s journey; to figure out the life they are meant to live. The life that is waiting for them.

Also, I guess I’ll have to cut back a little bit on the time I spend in the Land of Dreams to invest it in the Land of the Living… That would be a good first step.

And hopefully one day, i’ll have the chance to wake up, look around me and feel that i’m right where i’m supposed to be. Living the life that was waiting for me.

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