The Fangirl Life

Hey there world. It is currently 4pm & I’m reporting back to you from the zombie land.

Why?

Because I feel like a zombie right now.

Why?

Because I slept at 6AM & only had 4 hours of sleep.

Why?

Because I was following the Scandal panel at PaleyFest.

Why?

Because I freaking love this show & this cast.

Why?

Hmmm…

Well, that’s not an easy question!

In fact, this question comes up in my mind a lot of times. It comes up every Thursday night when I’m waiting for a new Scandal episode to air although it is 3AM where I live & I’ve been up since 7AM. It comes up when I practically stalk all of the cast twitters & jump at every occasion they tweet something new or post a pic on Instagram. It comes up when I get upset or happy or sad or disappointed or excited about a new sneak peek or a spoiler or anything pertaining to the show.

It comes up in so many occasions.

And It came up a few hours ago when I was lying in bed switching between twitter, snapchat & periscope to follow Paley while knowing that I have to be up for a class at 8AM. As the hours went by though, I knew my class was never going to happen. And I know how irresponsible that is but even if I turned off my phone I couldn’t have possibly slept because my mind, my heart & my thoughts were elsewhere. They were in California. They were at the Dolby Theater. They were with my favorite people:

The Scandal Cast.

Now let me tell you this, being a fangirl is not easy. Imagine being an international fangirl. It is freaking hard! Honestly, I think it can be a job in itself because the amount of dedication, sacrifice & commitment it requires? It is off the charts!

What I find baffling really is the unconditional love I have for people I never met in my life & probably will never meet -At least that’s what I tell myself to lower my chances of disappointment-

How can I love these people who are so out of reach from me while often times I find myself struggling at even liking some people I see every day?

Well, I have come to realize & accept that distance is overrated. Distance doesn’t mean a thing. Distance is not a barrier to love. You don’t love people because they are close to you, you love them because of who they are, because of how they carry themselves in the world, because of their hearts. And man does the Scandal cast have a big heart! Each one of them.

They have the biggest hearts out there.

I don’t know them but I feel like I know them. Sure not on a personal level but kind of. I know this doesn’t make any sense but it’s just how it is.

These people have taken over my life & I’ve gladly, although unconsciously, given them the reins. When I say this I don’t mean that they control me. I’m not a puppet. If they say jump I won’t say how high. But the thing is that I let them have this “control”. I took the decision to be this invested in this show & this cast. And as long as I’m happy with it, as long as It does not alter with my studies -although it may a little bit but not in a dramatic way I mean I still handled my first semester of law school like a true gladiator- as long as I still go out & have friends & my social life is not solely a virtual one, I’m good. They can have that control.

And to be honest, the show as much as the cast fuel a lot of my motivation. They give me the means & the want & almost the need to do better & be the best version of myself that I can be. They make me want to thrive because they are thriving. All of my motivational quotes are either quotes from the show or something Kerry Washington or the other cast members said -Although if I’m completely honest here, it’s mostly Kerry Washington because she’s the queen of everything-

So I have no doubt in my mind that stumbling upon Scandal 2 years ago was the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.

I feel such a sense of pride at knowing that I, along with all of the gladiators out there, have the best cast EVER! 

And don’t fight me on this! My cast is better than yours, period.

 

“I didn’t choose the gladiator life. The Gladiator life chose me.”

 

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